Written by Chandra McCullough, LPC
As I have begun my education into Sex Therapy, I can’t tell you the number of people who giggle and turn a little red. The responses have ranged from curiosity to jokes, but by the time I’m done explaining why I am pursuing this, people are fascinated… or I've just convinced myself of that and they are actually wanting to run for the hills. I'm going with fascinated!
From a young age we are told to keep our private parts and private life PRIVATE. Then we get into intimate relationships, and things are supposed to be great. What happens when that’s not the case? Suddenly, we are supposed to talk about what’s not working and fix it. It’s that easy in the books we read and the movies we watch, right?
Think back to the relationships you looked up to, or are working hard to do the opposite of. How often did you see conversations about religion, politics, and money? The TABOO topics! We don't discuss these in public, but they are acceptable to be discussed behind closed doors at home. Sex and sexual health were the topics that parents had “when it was time”, and further discussion was painful for most.
I ask clients all the time… Imagine if you were told not to discuss finances in your relationship, but the expectation is you need to be on the same page as your partner and they better be good! Why isn’t intimacy viewed the same? I choose the word intimacy because when we broach this topic in therapy, it is so much more than just sex.
If you are struggling sexually in your relationship or you are being hard on yourself, book a session. Learn about yourself, your body, your relationship in a space that is created for just that!